• 1Why Play Moria
• 2Unit Analysis
  • 2.1Heroes
• 3Allies

Why Play Moria[edit]

Because Goblin are meant to be Green! One of the first armies to get miniature's (its starting show) Moria has/had one of the largest selection of units to bring in games, making it one of the most versatile armies available. At least half of the units in this army are all monsters, from the simple cave troll, the watcher in the water, a Dragon and the Balrog himself. Of Course your main units are cheap goblin infantry with all the options of spears, shields, swords and bows giving them the advantage over their Goblin Town neighbours.

Pros[edit]

• The Balrog
• Multiple large monsters to choose from
• Horde Army!
• Cheap units
• Large selection of Units to pick from

Make offer - Balrog (Metal & Metal Whip) - Lord of the Rings Middle Earth Moria Warhammer Lord Of The Rings Magazine 21 Metal Gimli painted & Paper Balrog and Cave Troll £8.00 7d 8h.

Cons[edit]

• Weak troops
• Most of the models cannot be found on the store website
• Most of the army bonuses (like the drum) works only on Goblin, while you are expecting your monsters to do the job.

Army Bonus[edit]

We Cannot get out, they are coming: Any Moria Goblins involved in a fight where there opponent is trapped receive a +1 bonus to their fight value. being a horde army this should be easy to achive by surronding your opponents.

Unit Analysis[edit]

Heroes[edit]

• The Balrog: A beast in combat that costs 350 points. He is nearly undestructible, but he will rarely earn its points back. Even at 800 points he represents nearly half of your army, and if he loses a fight, well, for that turn you have half of your army sitting on the sofa. You have to ensure the Balrog isn’t killed by artillery or other instant death attacks. Although the Balrog only takes half damage from those devastating attacks, it is something that could be easily avoided with something very cheap. Goblins! Placing hordes of goblins around the Balrog helps you against scatter from artillery and blocking certain hero’s from harming the Balrog. Besides that he has crazy stats for combat and has many abilities like his whip and a free heroic combat every turn to keep him locked in combat (but for a cunning opponent it's easy to lock him in combat with some cannon fodder. The Balrog also gives his army better magic resistance with his whopping 10 will. Goblins surrounding him are immune to courage test also. Another big downside is his lack of might.

• Durbuz, The Goblin King of Moria: The King has a decent stat line for a Goblin, 3 points of might and 2 points of will and fate gives him plenty of spening options. With defence 6, stregth 4, attacks 2 but only fight value 4 he isnt terrible in a fight but dont expect him to win against some of the bigger names. For a Hero of valor at 70 points he's a bargain to take and to use his special rule which makes his stand fast increase to a range of 12 will surely help with the courage issue Moria goblins face.

• Groblog: Similar stats to Durbuz, but with -1 in courage, fight value, will and fate points, Groblog is better used for supporting his fellow green friends by using his crown. The Mithril crown is a special rule that allows him to roll one D6, on a 4+ all friendly goblins within 3 get +1 to their fight value, a much needed bonus to help win one or two more fights.

• Druzhag, The Beastcaller: As his name states Drushag can allow you to take wild wargs, fell wargs, giant spiders and bat swarms as long as they are in his warband, also every beast in his warband that is within 12 of him can use his Courage value instead of their own. He has two Powers Enrage beast and Fury which affects all the beasts he can take in his warband. if you want to bring Ashrak in your army too save the giant spider for him and have Druzhag bring all the wargs and bats.

• Ashrak: Like Druzhag (but cheaper coming in at 45 points less) Ashrak gives you the option to take Giant Spiders in your Moria Army, of course they have to be a part of his warband. The spiders also have the option to gain the Venom special rule at the cost of +2 points. He's also a dangerous to kill, with his special rule death-touch any unit that wounds or is wounded by Ashrak in a fight must roll a D6, on a +4 that units is affected by the paralyse power. Speaking of powers Ashrak has two, Fury that he can only cast on spiders and shroud of shadows. The real downside to Ashrak is that only his giant spiders are affected by hist stand fast and heroic actions so don't count on him to help his own kin out in a fight.

• The Watcher in The Water:

• Dragon: 250 point monster that can decimate enemy armies. A plethora of special rules mean that the Dragon will be devastating to the armies of good, by causing terror, resisting magic, lowering enemy courage and knocking everything to the floor. Can be upgraded with up to two abilities that allow it to fly, breathe fire, cast magic or raise its defence for 50 points each. Fire and magic are dependant upon the will points of the dragon and as these are in fairly limited supply then its going to be situational at best, although the sheer damage of the fire attack is scary for enemies. Tough hide will raise the defence to Sauron levels of durability so its worth investing in. Beware of leaving the dragon unsupported however, as a courage test after every wound suffered combined with a lacklustre courage of 4 leaves him vulnerable to a lucky first shot

• Cave Drake: Probably one of the few effective choices for this army, costing 150 points. Although fight value of 6 and lack of Heroic Strike are not the best combo, with 4 attacks and strenght 7 he may have something to say before Aragorn tears him in pieces with Anduril. He suffers also for the big dimension of the base, and if your opponent manages to encircle him, he won't survive.

• Moria Goblin Captain: A cheap hero that should always be upgraded to bring a shield to make him more survivable, he can use Heroic march to get his goblin underlings to move faster. Don't bother with the orc bow since his shoot value is 5 and it's not worth spending the might point to improve the result.

• Moria Goblin Shaman: Good support for your goblins, being able to use transfix and Fury will help your goblins out in a fight. No available upgrades but he does bring a spear so you can hide him in the second line.

• Moria Blackshield Captain: For ten extra points than a Goblin captain you get a slightly better fighter (especially against dwarves) that's equipped with a two handed sword and heavy armour. This is probably the best hero of the army, with his magic power that allows him to destroy all weapons of a target on a 3+.

• Moria Blackshield Shaman: Exactly the same stats as a usual shaman but comes with a staff instead of a spear. He can use the Shatter and Tremor Spells.

Troops[edit]

• Moria Goblin Warrior: These little greenish guys are some of the cheapest fighters you will ever get, even when your upgrade them to have a shield, spear or Orc bow they'll still be cheaper than an Orc. Of Course they don't have very good courage (2), strength (3), movement (5) or fight and shoot values (2/5+) but that wont matter because you will be bringing a lot of these guys. Against most armies you will be outnumbering your opponent two to one or even three to one if they're bringing an elite army.

• Moria Goblin Drum: These act as your long range Banner, anything within 18 of them get the single re-roll while in a duel. Goblins also get +1 to their courage while your opponent get -1 Courage to their units as long as the drums are being played, these effect is particularly nasty since this affects all models on the battlefield. Make sure to keep two or three goblin close by so they can pick up the clubs and start playing if the original guy get killed, and if it has to move then you do not get the above bonuses for that turn.

• Moria Blackshield: They cost twice as much as a regular goblin but have almost identical stats. What they have that is better than a regular Goblin is Defence 6 and Courage 3 but at the cost of having one goblin rather than two just doesn't seem worth it. That is of course until you see that they have the Hatred Dwarf special rule, so as long as you know your playing someone bringing Dwarfs they're then worth taking.

• Moria Blackshield Drummers: They do the exact same thing as the normal drum however one guy carries it and one guy plays it so you don't suffer any penalties from moving it. You also gate the Hatred rule against Dwarfs since they're Blackshields, this also makes them a little bit more survivable at defence 5.

• Moria Goblin Prowler: With a fight and shooting value at 3/4+, being equipped with Two-handed axes and throwing daggers these guys can hit pretty hard at range, on the charge, and in combat. However, they are only Defence 4 and do not come with any other options to improve this so do not put them on the front line. Prowlers come with the Backstabber special rule which gives them +1 to wound while you make strikes against a model that is trapped, having two handed axes with this rule will really make them dangerous, so in games want these guys to flank your opponents units and get them caught between your Warrior Goblins and Prowlers, if you pull this off you will have made a murder sandwich.

• Bat Swarm: Being bats they therefore have the Fly special rule, useful for when you need to get past your opponents units and get to objectives or silencing archers and siege equipment. They have 4 Wounds but only defence 3 so they can be hit rather easily but not killed too quickly, Just don't throw them at a large group of elves with bows. while in Combat they only have a fight value of 1 but they have the special rule blinding swarm which makes any enemy model half it's own fight value, so these guys can help debuff enemy units to make yours have a better chance at winning draws.

Cavalry[edit]

• Warg Marauder: One mount and three riders, each goblin gets to pick from a sword, a sword and shield or a bow (funny thing is, all three can bring bows but it only counts as one model to the bow limit instead of three). If you bring at least one goblin with a shield then the Warg marauders Defence is raised to 5. There are two special rules for this unit, the first is On the Hunt which allows any Goblins armed with a bow to shoot as normal even if they have made a full movement or are in combat. Lethal unions is the second special rule where the Marauder gains the terror special rule and +! to its courage value as long as their are Goblins still mounted on the Warg, you also get one additional attack for each mounted goblin (unless they shot with theirs bows in the shooting phase then they don't get to make an attack).

Monsters[edit]

• Cave Troll: At 25 points cheaper than a Mordor troll you still get a scary monster that can do most things its big brother can can but he is slightly weaker with having defence 6, strength 6, fight value 6 and courage 3. He has access to a few different weapons though, he comes stock with a spear but can be upgraded to bring a troll chain as well. The chain is classed as a throwing weapon that has a range of 3 and hits at strength 5. Of Course he can be upgraded to bring a good old hand-and-a-half hammer if you really want to make things dead. For the price you can get them for they can work in small games and then you can bring two for the bigger 700 point games.

• Dweller in The Dark: Described as a mini Balrog, a Dweller can hold is own in most fights with 3 attacks and fight value 7 but he only has defence 5 so he is very susceptible to weapons with the piercing rule. He's resistant to magic and has the terror special rule but also has the Murderous Power rule, this allows him to regain a wound (Not to exceed his starting amount) after slaying an enemy model while using the rend brutal attack. When it comes down to if he is worth taking over a cave troll then that's where he starts to look less impressive, sure he can regain wounds and move fast at Movement 8, he is weaker and isn't as strong, although he is less likely to run away at courage 7.

Allies[edit]

Convenient Allies[edit]

Angmar

The Serpent Horde

Far Harad

Corsairs of Umbar

Isengard

Variags of Khand

Mordor

The Eastern Kingdoms

The Nazgul of Dol Guldur

Azog's Hunters

Azog's LegionLaptop service manual.

Goblin Town

The Trolls

Smaug

Building your Army[edit]

Building your Army is fairly simple. You have loads of choices. Each having it strengths and weaknesses. Here u can see a few concept's. (500 Pts & 750 Points)

1) Pure Horde with(un)named Heroes

Horde 500 Points

Warband 1 + 2 + 3, each 104 pts

1 Generic Captain + Shield 40

5 Goblins + Shield 25

5 Goblins + Spears 25

2 Goblin Prowlers 14

WB 4 190 pts

1 Shaman 45

2 Drummers with Drum 75

2 Bat-Swarms 70

Easy hordlist. On 500 Points, you will field 44 Models (!!). Batswarms to trap enemy lines and handycap enemy Heroes, Prowlers for nasty wounds on the charge or slashing the enemys down in melee with enough support. If u fight those pesky D8 Dwarfs, you´ll make them die already on a 4+ if trapped. (2Handed + Piercing-Strike + Backstabber)If stronger Heroes are incomming, let your Batswarms attack them, to half their FV, then overwhelm then with Captains, Prowlers (will go up to F4 if enemy is trapped) and then normal Goblins + Supporters. If paired against the Death of Dunnharow or anything who generates Terror, your Shaman will create a 6' auto-pass Bubble. Surprise, you will fit a lot of those goblins in those 6 inches. However, not strong against pure Bow-Lists. They can & will hurt you a lot. Feel free to exchange the captains for Durburz & Groblog. Keep in mind that those changes will immediatly tear down your model count. You don't care about the ightvalue or the defence. Just rush in melee, and let your small green friends do the work for you.

Horde 750 Points

Warband 1 151 pts

1 Durburz 70

6 Goblins + Shield 30

6 Goblins + Spears 30

3 Goblin Prowlers 21

Warband 2 pts 114 pts

1 Groblog 50

5 Goblins + Shield 25

5 Goblins + Spears 25

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2 Goblin Prowlers 14

Warband 3 265 pts

1 Shaman 45

2 Drummers with Drum 75

1 Dweller in the Dark 75

2 Bat-Swarms 70

Warband 4 + 5, each 104 pts, 208pts in total

1 Generic Captain + Shield 40

5 Goblins + Shield 25

5 Goblins + Spears 25

2 Goblin Prowlers 14

Nothing shows more love then a massive horde army with 61 Models.

2) Horde/Monster Mix

3) Pure Monster

Tactics[edit]

' There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year-old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs. '

– John Rogers

The Lord of the Rings, sometimes shortened to LOTR, is the sequel to J. R. R. Tolkien's The Hobbit. He found that the setting he had built was far too interesting to abandon after a simplistic quest storyline, an experience common to modern GMs, and his publisher thought a new story in Middle-earth would be just as popular as The Hobbit.

Because of its original publication scheme (the whole thing was too big for '50s era bookbinding techniques), LOTR is commonly, though erroneously, called a trilogy. Its three volumes are:

• The Fellowship of the Ring
• The Two Towers
• The Return of the King

You have, of course, read them. If you haven't, gtfo and read them. And don't you even dare just watch the movies. Although amazing films, they aren't the same experience.

The Story[edit]

If you're a filthy normie or you've been living on a cave on Mars with your fingers in your ears, here's a brief refresher:

Bilbo Baggins, the protagonist of The Hobbit, decides upon his 111th birthday to leave home and entrusts his magic ring to his nephew Frodo. Problem is, Gandalf the Grey, Bilbo's wizard friend, has figured out that something's off about the magic ring once he sees how Bilbo can barely bring himself to give it up; it is in fact the One Ring, an artifact created by Sauron, Lord of Mordor, and contains a vast amount of his power. Its continued existence is a threat to the free peoples of Middle-earth and Gandalf exhorts Frodo to come to a meeting in Rivendell, house of the great elven lord Elrond, where a council of all the finest minds that can be brought together will determine what to do with it. Joined by his gardener Samwise and two fellow hobbits, Merry and Pippin, Frodo makes his way to Rivendell but not before running afoul of barrow-wights and Sauron's chief minions, the Nazgul, leading to him getting stabbed with a cursed sword by the lead Nazgul that would make him their wraith minion. Fortunately Elrond is also skilled in healing arts and magic and saves Frodo from the fate worse than death.

At the meeting, it is revealed that no mortal artifice can destroy the One Ring (demonstrated in the movie when Gimli shatters a weapon on the unassuming golden band). The only way to unmake it is to return it to the fires of Mount Doom where Sauron originally forged it. Unfortunately, Mount Doom is smack dab in the middle of Mordor and Gandalf can't ask his great eagle buddies to risk death by arrows, Fellbeasts (seriously, why does everyone forget that the bad guys could fly too?) or deadly volcanic gases to fly the ring to Mount Doom for him. Really though, stealth was the only realistic option, even if that meant hoofing it for months on end. And to make things more complicated, the ring itself is actively trying to get back into Sauron's hands, whether by alerting Sauron to its presence every time someone puts it on, or outright manipulating people with promises of power. Frodo agrees to bear the One Ring on its journey and a group is formed to escort him there. The party for this quest is called the Fellowship of the Ring and consists of:

• Frodo Baggins, the Ringbearer, hobbit;
• Samwise Gamgee, Paladin/gardener/Frodo's 'best friend', hobbit;
• Meriadoc 'Merry' Brandybuck, rogue, hobbit;
• Peregrin 'Pippin' Took, bard, hobbit;
• Gandalf the Grey, wizard (one of the Istari, essentially a demigod in human guise, and on the same tier as Saruman, Sauron, and the Balrog);
• Aragorn, son of Arathorn, ranger, human of Númenorean descent and heir to the thrones of Arnor and Gondor;
• Boromir, son of Denethor, fighter, human;
• Legolas Greenleaf, son of Thranduil, archer, elf;
• Gimli, son of Glóin, fighter, dwarf;

So, off they go. After a few detours and sidetracks, the Fellowship is split into three (even though you should never split the party): Frodo and Sam go off directly to Mordor, as Frodo's the only one who really needs to go and Sam is too much of a bro to abandon him; Gandalf duels a primordial demon to the death (both their deaths, really) since he's the only one there powerful enough to stop it, but since he's a demigod on a divine mission he gets to come back; Pippin and Merry are kidnapped by orcs but escape and wind up in Gondor, a formerly prosperous kingdom, and Rohan, a nation of Vikings on horseback, respectively, after having adventures with Ents; Boromir dies in an ambush but has a pile of corpses to show for his troubles and gets a river funeral; Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli form a Human-Elf-Dwarf triple threat team, ostensibly to find and rescue Merry and Pippin, but end up travelling fucking evil's shit up for the rest of the story, with Gimli as Dennis Rodman.

Despite having their own problems to contend with, somehow the members of the divided Fellowship seem to get involved with everyone else's mess and need to sort shit out. Their list of game achievements include, but are not limited to: surviving a ruined dwarf city filled with an insane number of goblins and a big motherfucking demon lord with weapons made of fire (the backstory behind this inspired the aforementioned game); foiling the plans of Gandalf's wicked wizard counterpart and his orc army; saving not one but two human nations (and the entire world for that matter); winning a whole campaign's worth of scenarios and battles; and defeating the big bad evil guy of the setting with enough time to go home for tea and crumpets.

Finally, after going around the most fuck-me way possible to get into Mordor (partially due to bad directions from Gollum, who was conflicted with his addictive desire for the Ring, and an encounter with the giant spider/spider-demon hybrid Shelob), Frodo reaches Mount Doom and is about to drop the ring into the lava when he can no longer resist the ring's allure. Just as it had done at the end of the Second Age when it stopped Isildur from destroying it, the ring saved its existence from certain doom. Unfortunately, its twisted former owner Gollum attacks Frodo for it and bites it off of his finger, dances about happily, and accidentally falls into the lava. With the ring destroyed, Sauron's power is all but gone forevermore and his armies scatter. The eagles can swoop in for MEDEVAC, getting Frodo and Sam back to civilization to rest and recover before the hobbits return to the Shire.

But wait! The Shire's under new management, Chief Sharkey. Frodo and company help the hobbits rise up against Sharkey, who turns out to be Saruman, who has committed his greatest evil yet by trying to industrialize The Shire out of spiteful revenge. Frodo allows Saruman to leave the Shire, but his put-upon minion Gríma Wormtongue slits his throat (and is then riddled with arrows, nicely tying up that loose end). After compiling his memoirs and still feeling pain from the Nazgul attack all the way at the beginning of his journey, Frodo travels to the Grey Havens and is allowed to sail into the West, where he may find relief from his pain.

Legacy[edit]

It's commonly accepted that the Lord of the Rings invented modern fantasy fiction, as everybody basically used it as a template for most, if not all, future stories that involved anything more than Knights, princesses, and dragons. That being said, most people tend to only pick up the surface elements of the stories without the nuances they originally came with, either to fit their own stories or because they just thought, 'hey, orcs are cool, imma add them to my campaign.' One example is that despite everyone basing elves on Tolkien's interpretation rather than the more pixie-like versions of previous generations, most stories' elves are universally depicted as arrogant and smug racists who were almost as commonplace as humans, whereas Tolkien hewed closer to the original mythological version of an alien, isolationist, though not outright hostile people, who seldom interacted with mortals (it helped that any racial supremacist tendencies they once had were basically stomped out of them after getting their asses kicked in the First Age, with humans giving them most of their support). On top of that, the books are pretty clear that Elven immortality isn't all sunshine and rainbows, as they are doomed to fade into wraiths unless they travel to the Undying Lands.

Even in his time, while Tolkien maintained a strong correspondence with his fans (he wrote enough letters that they essentially became a supplement on the lord of the rings stories), he felt that a lot of people simply didn't get his stories. Hippies declared Frodo to be an anti-establishment hero, despite Tolkien himself being strongly conservative and the story containing an explicitly pro-monarchy plot point in Aragorn's ascension. People would claim it to be an allegory of WWII and nuclear war, despite being based on his own personal experiences during WWI (he also hated allegories in general). And if he were alive today, he'd probably call the travesty that was the Hobbit trilogy (see below) the very 'disneyfied' crap that he sought to avoid. Here's a list of fantasy cliches attributed to Tolkien that are actually misrepresentations of what he wrote because the authors would miss the point.

All that being said, the influence of his books can't be denied. The funny thing though, is that despite being a source of inspiration for Dungeons and Dragons (one could argue that DnD codified fantasy tropes moreso than LOTR, but that's for another time), the actual story of the Lord of the Rings wouldn't make for a great roleplaying campaign; rewards for battles are scant, the vast majority of enemies are orcs, orcs, and more orcs with a dash of goblins that's just another term for orcs, the actual fighting done by Aragorn's team is of secondary importance to Frodo's mission to destroy the ring, Sauron never appears in the flesh so there's no final boss, etc. A webcomic called 'DM of the Rings' explores this concept quite humorously, as the tension between the player characters (as Aragorn's party) and the DM shows how frustrated they get when the story doesn't meet their hack-and-slash expectations.

To give a short list, Tolkien basically gave us:

• Half-elves, though they weren't considered a distinct species. There's only a handful of them, and they have to decide whether to have the fate of the elves (immortality, but you have to go to the Undying Lands or become a wraith) or the fate of men (mortality, but you get a super-secret afterlife that not even the Valar know about). This part never seemed to catch on.
• Intelligent Dragons who not only can talk, but cast magic and manipulate people
• Elves as beautiful pointy-eared superhumans; while not explicitly codified as of yet, we also got High elves in the Noldor and Wood elves in the Sindar. No Dark elves yet though (unless you count those Avari guys who sat by a lake); that would be the Drow.
• Dwarves as a proud warrior race rather than just short greedy bastards. Note that the Scottish accent wasn't tacked on until the New Line films. Not even then; the most prominent Dwarves in all six films are Gimli, played by John Rhys-Davies, and Thorin, played by Richard Armitage, who speak with their actors' native Welsh and Yorkshire accents respectively. Scottish Dwarves do exist in the franchise, but it's not mainstream - the Dwarven accents are drawn from a wide UK spectrum. Scottish Dwarves are popular in fantasy games, World of Warcraft being perhaps the most prominent example, but even the Tolkien-esque Warhammer Fantasy has Yorkshire Dwarfs (with some exceptions).
• The Ranger archetype (historical note: actual rangers were just guys hired to keep poachers off a nobleman's land, the idea of an outdoorsy type of tracker/scout/soldier didn't exist until the 17th century.)
• Mixed race, mixed class adventuring parties
• A 'Three Age' structure to history, with the earlier ages being more legendary and mythological than the more mundane later ages.
• Mithril {NOT Mythril, a name used in various other books and games to avoid copyright infringement}, a super-strong, super-light metal

The Movies[edit]

Ralph Bakshi made an animated film based off the Fellowship of The Ring and the first half of The Two Towers, which were released in 1978. The resulting film was trippy, to say the least. It has a lot of weird animation with massive amounts of rotoscoping, although it does work from time to time. It also decided to make adjustments and stay faithful to the text in the oddest ways. Many lines of dialogue were taken from the books word for word, with enough cut out so that you don't know what they are talking about and it does not come across as natural conversation; for example, Saruman declares himself Saruman of Many Colors without explaining the name change, but they decide to make a prince of Gondor (the largest and greatest civilization in Middle-earth at the time) dress like a Wagner opera viking. The end result both leaves you both weirded out and bored unless you are really into that era of animation. Rankin Bass produced a Return of the King animated film in 1980, a made for TV movie which didn't have near the budget. It traded in some of the trippiness (even if it does have Orcs transforming into Coutimundis) for being more mundanely bad and getting pushed into the animation age ghetto, since again, it was made for TV not theaters in an age when censorship ran strong. They couldn't even allow for people getting with swords onscreen.

But those two movies are footnotes compared to the ones that you have most likely seen, those being Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy. By far the most financially successful and critically acclaimed fantasy films of all time, including winning Best Picture at the Academy Awards, which generally go for historical pieces and similar, not fantasy or sci-fi. It helped bring fantasy to mainstream audiences and probably why many of you are you are here now. It has massive battles made possible by groundbreaking special effects technology. The films also have incredible amounts of attention to detail to bring the world of Middle-earth to life. While some changes were made (as was inevitable in adaptation), many of them were for the better such as developing Aragorn as a character rather than just a mythic archetype. In short what happens when you get a lot of skilled passionate people together to make something they love come to life.Though apparently Tolkien's son really hated the movies for some reason (Probably for personal reasons as the original books were written in part for him).

Alas, however, it seems greed got to New Line: apparently a few billion dollars in debt, they needed the profit that a new series of Middle-Earth movies would make and tapped Jackson to direct a trilogy of Hobbit movies. Since The Hobbit is a single book with less than 400 pages, the company bloated the story by making the movies a strange mix of The Hobbit, the Silmarillion and various new materials. Neckbeards were in uproar of the changes both big and small: examples include Legolas having a significant part in the second and third movie despite not appearing in the book of The Hobbit, the inclusion of new character Tauriel who enters a fanfic-esque love triangle with Legolas and Kili, the recycling of an Orc warlord who canonically died in a battle before the book even though the story had the role filled by his son who's also in the movies, the Major of Laketown having an aide who seems to be a long-lost scion of the Blackadder lineage a two-dimensional discount Grima Wormtongue (Admittedly, it would be a nice little Blackadder homage, as the Mayor of Laketown is acted by Stephen Fry), dumbing down the fiendishly intelligent antagonist Smaug with Bond Villain-style stupidity and other problems. Jackson really went overboard with the special effects here: instead of using sets, costumes and clever camera tricks a lot of things were CGI (probably because for no good reason there were plans to release the Hobbit films in 3D, and forced-perspective tricks don't work in 3D). This meant that a lot of actors did not need to be on the set at the same time, which reached its lowest point with Sir Ian McKellen breaking down into tears after having to act against an empty room.

(Also, Warner Bros. forced New Zealand to rewrite its labor laws, removing the ability for its actors to bargain collectively, as well as granting the studio some tax breaks. Only then did Warner Bros. decide to not move the movie out of the country.)

Unhappy with the trilogy, fans created the TolkienEdit, which is basically a four-hour film covering the entire trilogy. That means that there's been removed five hours of content. The casualties include Radagast, the Necromancer subplot, the elf/dwarf love triangle, a lot of running scenes, some battle scenes and a lot of white orc scenes.

What about the other books?[edit]

Besides the LOTR trilogy and the Hobbit, there are a few other books about Middle Earth. Many of them were published after Tolkien's death, but were personally edited by his son to make them available to the public. While none of these books are strictly need-to-know material, they can be thought of as great fluff books full of additional stories that flesh out the setting.

• The Silmarillion - This was an abridged history of Middle Earth, from its creation to the War of the Ring. Here you'll find more information about Sauron and the creation of the One Ring, as well as epic tales of both elvish and human heroes from the First Age, the sociopathic Elf King Feanor who played right into Melkor's schemes, the rise and fall of Atlantis Numenor, the War of the Last Alliance, and other things. Three stories in particular were considered by Christopher Tolkein to be so important that they deserved their own books. They are:

• The Tale of Beren and Luthien - If you thought Aragorn and Arwen had a whirlwind romance, you ain't seen nothing yet. Luthien's father King Thingol wouldn't allow her to marry Beren unless he captured one of the Silmarils from Morgoth's crown. Seemingly impossible demands aside, both of them go on an epic journey deep behind enemy lines to complete the quest. And though it costs them both their lives, they ultimately begat the line of the Half-elves after returning to Middle-Earth. Quite easily the most action-packed love story in high fantasy.
• The Children of Hurin - Hurin was among the mightiest of mortal men, and he alone defied Morgoth during the seige of Angband. When he was captured, Hurin refused to give up the location of Gondolin. As punishment, Morgoth imprisoned Hurin and laid a curse upon his children. Hurin's emo son Turin is forced to live on the run, and many times those close to him end up getting killed, mostly due to his overwhelming ego. When he meets an amnesic girl alone and naked in the woods, he does the most logical thing and marries her. Except, uh oh, he was tricked by a dragon into fucking his sister. Yes, this is a canon story. Don't believe me? Look on the Silmarillion page.
• The Fall of Gondolin - this story has yet to be published in its own book, but the basic gist is that Gondolin is the last stronghold of the Noldor elves, hidden deep within the mountains, guided there by the Poseiden expy. Same expy sends the human warrior Tuor to warn Gondolin that it's about to fall. The elves don't pay much attention to his warning, but they let him marry the king's hot daughter. This pisses off her cousin, who's been wanting to get in on that incest action, and so he betrays the city and shows Morgoth's army how to sneak in. In the final battle, the city falls, but Tuor and his family escape, but not before shanking her cousin's treasonous ass.

• The Adventures of Tom Bombadil - Poetry centered around Tom Bombadil, who is best described as Middle Earth's equivalent of a Monty Python sketch. He's actually in the first LOTR book but is so carefree and oblivious to the War of the Ring that he's not terribly important despite being implied to be powerful enough to kick Sauron in the balls an walk away without a scratch.
• Unfinished Tales - As the name implies, Tolkien hadn't completed these stories before his death. It includes longer versions of stories mentioned in the trilogy, such as Isildur's death, the origin of the Wizards, and the founding of Rohan.
• The History of Middle Earth - A 13 volume series detailing the creation of Tolkien's mythology, includes early drafts and unused stories. While the early material here isn't considered canon, some very interesting revelations appear here:

• Originally, Tolkien wanted to claim that he only 'discovered' the stories about Middle Earth from a book he translated.
• Which book, you may ask? Why, just a copy of the Red Book of Westmarch. Also known as that book Frodo and Bilbo were writing as the story progresses. This is because..
• Middle Earth is actually our Earth.From before the Ice Age (hey, if Robert Howard could do the 'lost era of history' story for Kull and Conan the Barbarian, then so can Tolkien).
• And that First Age humans predicted the birth of Jesus Christ (though not in explicit terms). Did we mention Tolkien was Catholic?

Of course GW couldn't let such a profitable venture pass them by..[edit]

Back in the early 2000s, GW made a tabletop game based around this premise and called it The Lord of the Rings Strategy Battle Game. Because they ran out of short titles.

In a peculiar way, this was GW coming full circle. They began by making miniatures for D&D (which as stated above, heavily borrowed from LOTR) before morphing into Warhammer.

While it let you play out your favorite scenes from the movies (in the way YOU imagined them going), it failed to light the world on fire. Likely because it lacks any of the batshit awesome insanity of their own IPs. However, GeeDubs has kept on truckin' with this line regardless of cost, eventually offloading it onto Forge World to work on in between releases for Blood Bowl and Necromunda.

The Last Ringbearer[edit]

Of course, there is always some weird thing people will do with an original work of an author. Such is the nature of The Last Ringbearer, a book written by this Russian named Kirill Eskov. Its supposed to be an alternate take on LOTR, and has plot points ranging from The One Ring being a red herring, the Nazgul being enlightened philosopher scientists, and Mordor being an industrialized society torn apart by unsophisticated luddites for no reason other than elf bigotry. Don't have your hopes up, for this book will not get widespread English publishing until 2043, when the copyright on LOTR finally ends, which may be just long enough for this abortion of a 'book' to fall into the pages of obscurity.

The Last Ringbearer was officially published in the legal vacuum that followed the fall of the Soviet Union, which also allowed assorted other unauthorized revisions and sequels to be published. Among those are the Ring of Darkness by Nick Perumov (a Fourth Age story where the Big Bad Evil Guy collects the rings of the Nazgul to become a great conqueror, and a Hobbit fighter clad in mithril armor endeavors to stop him) and the Black Book of Arda by Natalia Vasilieva (an alternate take on the Silmarillion where the original evil Melkor is a nice guy).

Gallery[edit]

• How the heck did a little hobbit beat this?

• Actually not a scene from the books. To be fair, though, Shadow of Mordor showed us what Mordor looks like in the daytime.

See also[edit]

• The Lord of the Rings Strategy Battle Game for the tabletop skirmish game.